Ok, Scratch that last post!!

I found a job. Another restaurant of course. The head chef owns the place, and basically i'm the sous chef. Small staff, so I'll be doing most of the hardcore cooking or whatever. I'm trying not to get over enthused about this, due to my past experiences. I'm just gonna do my job, do my best to cook everyone under the table, and get to where i wanna go. so... yup, that's it!

Unemployed and Disgruntled

Being unemployed really sucks. This is the longest I haven't had a job in 11 years. I even had a job in school. If I had the money to get to NYC and crash till i found a place right now, I'd be gone! I can't even tell you how many times I have sent my resume, and I don't even remember how many applications i've filled out. I'm not saying that I hadn't recieved any offers, but the offers that did come in wern't that great.
I got one offer to be head cook at a place in the Village Gate Square, but this job consisted of walking into an unhealthy situation and i'd be the buffer, line cooking, designing a full menu, baking, and doing inventory for the good old ripe price of $8 an hour! You see my angst. I got a few more offers that were not as crazy, but they all wanted me to do the job of a head chef with the pay of a prep cook.
I found one good place that I would have loved to be at. It's a place in Penfield that is growing to be something great. The only problem was that the owner wanted to hire someone who would eventually run that whole location and be there permanently. I could have lied just to get the job and then leave for NYC, but I just couldn't do that. The thing I found out later was that they would have wanted me to make deliveries also on top of everything! WHY CAN'T I JUST COOK AND DO INVENTORY?!!!!! Granted the fact that these guys were actually willing to pay a good chunk of money to have me there. I liked them a lot and they are good people, so I wouldn't screw them over by accepting the job and then leaving 4 months into it.
I had an interview at Wegmans for thier bakery department. I tend to interview very well so that wasn't a problem. They also wanted someone to be there for a year and over. The lady liked me a lot so she said she'd see if there was any way she could find a short term place for me anywhere in the store. So that is still pending.
Basically i'm not even going to mention school and NYC. I'm not going to be dishonest, but it seems like that has been the determining factor. I'll keep on trucking though. We'll see what happens. Wish me luck!!!

The future is now!!

Lately I have been thinking about what the future really is and what it means. A philosophy I have is that the future does not exist. Only the present and past exist. The future is only relevant in your mind. For example, I am typing right now in the present. What I have just typed is in the past, but ten minutes from now cannot be predicted. It can be thought about and considered, but there are too many present variables that lay to be able to know what will happen. You can make plans for the future, but there is no guarantee that it will happen. it is only relevent when it is present.
Well this is how I've been thinking lately. I've seen so many people say " What if it doesn't work out?, what if I fail?, What if? What if? I've learned that without the future being such a scary thing, there is no use for the phrase "what if?" "With every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." relating that to life, to me it means that whatever happens, I need to be prepared for good and bad. I get involved with someone, I need to be prepared and aware that things may not go as planned. So the way i'll live my life is without fear of the WHAT IF. I'll continue to try and be a good person, help people when I can and take initiative in my life when need be. I understand that this way of thinking doesn't work for everyone, but in recent situations it has been very helpful in the development of my new life.

Run, Run away!

I've been here living with my mother for a few weeks now. It's not a great situation. My mother and i don't see eye to eye on many things. She likes to be in complete control of every situation whether she is right or wrong, and I'm very layed back and try to work with people rather than deligaate what I need and want. So you can see this isn't working. I'm going to have to deal for just a while longer.
Being unemployed is horrible. This is the longest it has been for me in the past 11 years. I just don't know what to do with myself. I have gotten some offers for new jobs, but none of them have offered any good pay. I need something where I can work hard and be paid for my services fairly. i have an interview at Sinbad's mediterranian restaurant tommorow. We'll see how that goes.
So I have recently decided that I'm going to move to New york City much sooner than planned. There is nothing here for me in Rochester. I've talked to many people about this and everyone i've talked to ask " Devon, why are you even still in Rochester." I've been asking myself that same question. I have been because of money. But right now, i cannot be afraid of it. I'm a talented human being, I have no need to worry about making a living because I work hard at whatever I do, and i WILL succeed.
So the general feeling right now is that I MUST get away from this place. there isn't anything that is keeping me here, nor anything that will benefit me. Only things that will set me back, and hinder my future. So basically... I'm out!

Moving out

Tommorow I am moving out of my apartment on Park ave. I'll be at my mom's place for December and maybe but not hopefully January. I'll be there until I find a job and can get back on my feet. My goal is to do all of this pretty quickly. I'm so independant that it's going to be wierd being back at home again. Everything i've changed, eveything i've worked to get away from is coming back. But I know that this time will be different. I can't be depended on so much anymore. Life there is full of arrears. So I know I have to move fast. I just have to get this move done so I can focus completely on my job search. Wish me luck!

A new start.....Again!!!

Well as you know from my last post, I've been layed off from the great Jack Laveres. It's too long of a story to even bother to begin to tell, but just know to never rely on people who can't even rely on themselves. So yet again I have to look for a new job. This resturaunt business is rough. It seems like the more cloying a job is, the better the outcome. I was frustrated at Starry nights and needed a challenege. Got the challenge at JoJo and things went crazy. Went to Mex and I was bored but had a consistant job, then to jack Laveres where I'm challenged, and now look. I'm still not going to give up on finding a better more challenging occupation, but I just need to find somewhere that is stable. On a different note, katrina left for Argentina yesterday. She'll be there for the next three weeks. I miss her already. She's visiting her family. ( obviously that's where she's from). She's going to be doing some of her photography project down there. I hope she has fun and takes lots of pics. lately I've been getting a lot of music offers. I got offered to do voice overs for commercials, and A guitarist in thr Rochester area has heard a lot about my drumming and wants to get something going. He has his own band already and he has a good rep around the city. He does a lot of recording, so this could be the start of something great. He also plays a lot in NYC, so that's right up my alley since i'll be living there next year. So cheers to starting over again. I know this won't be the last time either, but I'm just going to look at this from a positive angle, because I'm still healthy and I have my whole life ahead of me. Just gotta take it one day at a time. s'all good.

WTF

So i got layed off, and it really sucks, and i'm pissed and i have to move outta my apartment and It just sucks!!! that's all I have right now.

Katrina

She's soft, intellegent, and understands me. An artist finding her way through life via a camera and her keen eye. Natural, complex, acute, perspicacious. I feel at home when she's in my arms. Exhaustive, how cherished I feel. Her skin as smooth as silk. Her heart as deep as a well. I can close my eyes now, and dream of blue colors, peace. She's soft, intellegent, and understands me...